MOS E27: "Our babies are going to Kindergarten"

Welcome to Moms Off Script, a podcast for moms who are just trying to figure it out. This week Megg & Mere are coming to terms with the fact that their first born children are going to Kindergarten! Hear about how they are preparing both their kids and themselves for this transition.

CREDITS: 

Original content: Megg Abelein & Meredith Finch
Set design, videography: Megg Abelein & Meredith Finch
Music: Matt Beebe
Photography: Michelle Montinieri
Graphic Design: Alexia Dulieu
Editing & Production: Megg Abelein 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

We don't need to do that. You don't have to have all things in your feet.

SPEAKER_04 0:35

Do you want to do a podcast? Do you want to do a podcast? We have started a podcast, so we should do the podcast. Let's do the podcast. Cheers. Cheers. Hey guys, I'm Meg. And I'm Mick. And welcome back to another episode of MobL Script.

SPEAKER_02 0:46

I'm excited to get into our topic tonight.

SPEAKER_04 0:48

But first, how are you? I'm good. I am my hand is very sore. From why? Like two weeks ago. This is crazy, guys. Two weeks ago, I got my hand stuck in my kitchen-aid stand mixer. You're lucky your hand was not broken. I'm lucky I got to serve that cake. Yeah. Honestly, you're lucky you got to eat the cake.

SPEAKER_02 1:11

Yeah, legit.

SPEAKER_04 1:12

Yeah. So I got my hand stuck in like the mixing paddle in my mixer.

SPEAKER_02 1:16

It was the paddle attachment, not the whisk.

SPEAKER_04 1:18

Correct. The paddle attachment, not the whisk attachment. You know how it's like kind of like a triangle with the center line in it. Right. So I had plugged my mixer in and it was off. So I had it like flipped up. So I went to turn, like put the paddle in, and my other hand somehow back like limb flipped it on, and it just started like beating my hand. It was just stuck. And you got stuck. And so I took my this was my right hand. So I took my left hand. I'm screaming also, mind you. I'm when was this? Was your family home? Luckily, my family was home. It was like nine o'clock at night, maybe 10. And so kids are sleeping. Kids are sleeping. Alan's in the living room. I start screaming bloody murder. But like he's on the couch, like chilling. So it like takes him a minute to get up. And I take my right hand or my left hand now and put it in to try to pull my right hand out. But it jacks the thing up enough for my right hand to release, but catches my left hand. This is like a comedy. So now my left hand is stuck. So mind you, this is probably like 15 seconds, right? Alan, where is the hustle? But I'm saying, like, that's like it was probably only the course of like 15 seconds, which felt like a solid 90. Yeah. In my body. Yeah. So I get the my left hand out and I'm screaming, unplug it, unplug it. Oh my god. And I had a huge bruise on my left hand, but that one feels fine. Luckily, I also didn't have my rings on. Oh yeah, the right bruise on my ring finger of my left hand, and that's gone, but it's still a little sore. But my right hand. Are you swollen? Hold my hand. I'm not swollen.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

No, yeah, you're right.

SPEAKER_04 2:54

But it hurts. So sore. I got a stress ball, and I literally just sit at my desk and work it out. Stress ball all day.

SPEAKER_02 3:01

Do you I do have a like if it's not better by this day, I'm gonna go get someone to look at it. You're just gonna weigh it.

SPEAKER_04 3:06

I'm gonna wing it out.

SPEAKER_02 3:08

I'm gonna wait it out. That that tracks. We'll see how it goes. How are you? Um, not as eventful as that compared to you. I'm fine. Yeah? Yeah, no, nothing new. Work is good, life is good. I am reading a new book. The weather has been nice. Yeah. I got a great newly box this month. All the clothes that came in it were like wins. Oh, that's so we are right in high. I know you didn't have good luck with it.

SPEAKER_04 3:31

I did not. And it felt like I only had like two or three wins a month. But you have very good luck.

SPEAKER_02 3:37

I'm crushing it with it, which doesn't make sense normally. It doesn't work well for me because I'm so tall. I can't find things that fit well because those tend to cater to like your average body type. So if you're out of the norm in any dimension, it's tough. But I found a dress this month that I love. I got two skirts that I love. I got a jumpsuit. That one's the questionable one. Right. I'm not 100% sure on the jumpsuit yet, but we'll give it a shot. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:59

I feel like the winter months are probably harder for you than the summer months. Yeah. Because long, yes. Right. And so you said you got skirts. Yes. Which, if skirts are a little short, doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_02 4:10

It doesn't matter. You just put a boot instead of a flat.

SPEAKER_04 4:12

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 4:13

It works. Exactly. But the pants department is tough. And I've all but given up on pants. Unless I read the reviews and I can see that other five, 10 plus girlies got them and are like tall, friendly, then I'll then I'll give it a shot. Okay, so Meg, we are talking about kindergarten tonight.

SPEAKER_04 4:32

Oh my gosh, our babies.

SPEAKER_02 4:34

Because we have two kids that are going to kindergarten in September. How do you feel about it, like emotionally?

SPEAKER_04 4:41

I don't think that I have reached an emotional state yet. I think that it is going to hit me eventually. Yeah. But I don't think I'm there yet. What about you?

SPEAKER_02 4:50

I also don't feel crazy emotional about it because let me tell you why. You know how people say, oh my God, don't blink. It goes by so fast. Da-da-da-da-da. I think that is true, but I also don't really feel like when I think back to the last five years of my son's life, I don't really feel like, where did the time go? I missed it. I blinked and it's over. I'm like, I so vividly recall so many things. I remember like all the things we did in his first year, all the things we did in his second year, third year, fourth year, and they feel like a long five years to me. Like a lot happened and I remember it. I feel like I was very present for it. So the mentality of blink and you'll miss it, I don't really relate to, to be honest.

SPEAKER_04 5:27

I don't know that I relate to blink and you'll miss it, but I definitely feel like I was just pregnant.

SPEAKER_02 5:32

That is true.

SPEAKER_04 5:33

And I honestly I feel like I was just planning my wedding. That's where I'm at. And like, so the idea that I have a kid going to kindergarten is what's like tripping me up.

SPEAKER_02 5:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 5:45

I haven't gotten emotional with it yet. I think that I will get to the emotional state of my baby is going to kindergarten. Where have the last five years gone? And I will get there, and that will be emotional. But I'm more tripped up on the last five years have moved so quickly. Yes. In the sense of like, I was present for all of it.

SPEAKER_02 6:02

I remember all of it, but it's over. I get that. That makes sense. I also really resonate with the wait, I was just pregnant. Wait, I was just planning my wedding, even though my wedding was 10 years ago.

SPEAKER_04 6:11

Right.

SPEAKER_02 6:11

But now I have a kindergartner. When you say it like that, that makes me be like, oh my God.

SPEAKER_04 6:15

Yeah, yeah. You know, I'm just a teen mom. So I'm a teen mom. That's I think where it gets a little murky for me is where did the actual time go?

SPEAKER_02 6:26

Yes. In terms of my own life, not in the terms of his life. I'm like, I remember his five years so thoroughly and they feel so full and joyful. But when I think of my own life, I'm like, I'm 23. What are you talking about? 36 with a kindergartner. Yeah. So remind me, we've talked about this before, our current childcare arrangements, but neither of us is going cold into kindergarten. We've both been in structured care outside the home. Remind our listeners what your situation is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:51

So my kids are in full day, five day a week, child care, they go from eight to five. So they're pretty much this is the norm for them. They're both in preschool. So he's been in preschool for two years. It's not as structured as kindergarten, and they still have a nap. But other than that, he's very ready. He'll get home earlier next year than he does now. So that will be honestly the biggest adjustment. Yeah. Um, as far as like the time of day that he's gone. I'm not super concerned because, like I said, we're already kind of doing it. What about you guys?

SPEAKER_02 7:21

We're in a little bit of a different boat. Even though Teddy has been in care outside the home, he's done two years at a local Montessori school. He's only done half days. So he's been going five days, but only till after lunch. And then he comes home.

unknown 7:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:35

So I think the jump to a full day is going to be pretty intense for him because he's never done a long day like that away from the home. I've also talked to other moms who've experienced the kindergarten jump who have been, even like you, in full-time daycare. And then, like, it's just different. Your kid, if like you said, you hit the nail on the head when you said structure, right? It's not just open play and kind of wherever you want to go. It's like we're doing this and then we're doing this and then we're doing this. And I think the mental load on your kid of I'm now learning in a classroom, and you know, there's more kids and the ratios are different. I think that will feel like a lot.

SPEAKER_04 8:05

I do think it will feel like a lot. I do think that both of our kids will fare okay. Me too. I think both of our kids are very interested in learning. Yes. I think that they enjoy it a lot. Oh, a thousand percent. I think that having a structure, it's actually going to benefit both of our sons.

SPEAKER_02 8:22

I think so too. Teddy really thrives in an environment where he's encouraged to learn, but has a skeleton underlying it where it's not just like, do whatever you want. There's like some guardrails for him. And then within those guardrails, you can do whatever you want. I think he's gonna do really well with that.

SPEAKER_04 8:37

My son, like whenever whatever he learns at school, he's the kid that sits at the dinner table and will tell us everything he learns. Love that. And he is so excited about it. Some days he'll be like, I don't know what we did, but it's very rare. Every day in preschool, they have a question of the day. Okay. And we talk about he tells us what they learned and then what his question of the day is, and then he usually tells us what his answer to the question of the day is was, but then he'll tell us like four or five other kids in the class like what their answers were. So he's just very involved in his preschool day already. That I think that he is going to be able to follow that trend into kindergarten.

SPEAKER_02 9:15

I have a feeling he's not gonna be one of those kids where you go, How was your day? And he goes, good, and doesn't say anything. He might.

SPEAKER_04 9:21

He might, but I also think he's going to share more than just good.

SPEAKER_02 9:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:26

50% of the time.

SPEAKER_02 9:27

Yeah. So what are you doing with your son to prepare for kindergarten, either just in the language that you're using, how you're talking about it, or actual skills.

SPEAKER_04 9:36

I don't know that we're doing too much at this point because it's still like four or five months.

SPEAKER_02 9:40

Yeah, we got time.

SPEAKER_04 9:41

And he will be in that full-time childcare through the summer. He's not necessarily on a calendar year or an academic calendar right now. So I think some of those other skills we can kind of start to introduce a little later or having those conversations we can introduce a little later. Something that I have been actually working really hard on this academic year for him is not pushing it too much because he's still not in kindergarten. And I went through this maybe like two or three month phase where I was like, he needs to be ready for kindergarten, like he needs to be able to do this, he needs to be able to do that. But he's not that age yet. Right. And so I really had to like actively back off, actively stop pushing him to be five and let him be four. And that was something that I really felt strongly about working on and letting him be four years old and letting him be a preschooler. Because, like I said earlier, like he does like the learning piece. Like he is structured and he does like school. So when he is acting like a four-year-old, I want him to be a four-year-old. Yeah. Now, something that I realized about four or five months ago was uh that his friends in his preschool, they're all going to different kindergartens, they're all going to different school districts. And he is so close with his friends. He has his three best friends. For me, I was really upset by that when I realized it. But what I didn't realize was that they're all going to different places. I assumed that they were all going to the same school district and like he was going somewhere else. Yeah. But everybody is kind of in a different school district, which is kind of cool. It's cool and sad. While it's very sad for that group, it brought ease to my motherhood journey and how I could present it to him. So I did from a very early point talk to him about when you go to kindergarten, you get to meet new friends. And Alan's been talking to him about kindergarten for three or four years now because he is so academically inclined that we coached him through like you're gonna go to preschool for another year, and then when you're four, you'll go to preschool, and then when you're five, you'll go to kindergarten, and when you're six, you'll go to first grade. So we've talked through like what you do when you're what age. Yeah, which I think is pretty good prep. Yeah, we do that too. So that's the big one is really coaching him through the social piece of when you go to kindergarten, you get to meet new friends. And it's not about leaving his friends behind, it's about getting the opportunity to meet new friends, and that's really how we've spun it for him. But I think that that is actually the truth, it is an opportunity to widen your net, widen your circle. And he also knows that your son is going to be there and that our other neighbor's um daughter will be there. Yes, and so he's very excited. I know that they might not be in the same class, right? Same building. He's excited that they're gonna like be in the same space. Yeah. So what are you guys doing to prepare your son?

SPEAKER_02 12:29

I think we're in a very similar boat. We have not focused a ton on like the skills, and we'll talk about that, we'll get into that a little bit, but we have spent a lot of time talking about next year is kindergarten, you'll be in a different school. And we've spent a lot of time talking about it relatively early on because the Montessori school needed a decision from us on whether we were gonna do our kindergarten year at Montessori or move to the public schools. And it was actually something we spent a lot of time kind of weighing, both my husband and I, and then honestly talking to Teddy about it. Do you want to stay for another year? Do you want to go to the local school and like kind of explaining those things to him? Now, obviously, he doesn't get final say, right? Like we're the parents here, but we wanted his input and we wanted his teacher's input. And ultimately we worked together to come up with the decision that we were gonna be sending him to public school and public kindergarten. So that decision was made back in like January, I want to say. And the Montessori school does a lot of conversation around it because so many of the kids in that school are local to our town, and there's multiple elementary schools in the town, so all the kids are kind of splitting up and going off. So they talk about at school how these friends are going to this school, these friends are going to this school and preparing for that. Yeah. So it's very much in our language and our conversation. When we drive by the school, we'll point it out to him. We'll talk about how he's gonna stay there after lunch. We talk about how your son's gonna be there and our neighborhood friends are gonna be there. And he is very, very, very excited for all of that. So we've been doing a lot more like readiness and sense of like mental readiness for you'll be in a different school, it'll be a different place. It's not gonna be exactly like your teachers now. Class is gonna be a little different, but it's gonna be an adventure. You're gonna meet new people, learn new things. He's most excited about learning new things.

SPEAKER_04 14:05

Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure he is. Is he gonna take the bus?

SPEAKER_02 14:08

That's the plan. Yeah. I think if all of the neighborhood kids take the bus, he'll take the bus, but I think he'll be a little nervous about it. I wasn't a bus kid when I was a kid.

SPEAKER_04 14:16

Are you gonna give him a choice?

SPEAKER_02 14:18

Probably. Okay, yeah. I think I'll give him a choice. I think he'll say he wants to. And then, but when like it comes to like, okay, go get on the bus, I think he might be like, oh god. But I wasn't a bus kid growing up. I took the bus maybe once, like one year, I mean, um, when all of our neighborhood kids were taking the bus, but my mom was a state with mom, so she would drop us off at school. So that was kind of an unknown experience for me.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:39

So that'll be a hurdle that we cross. We'll see. Yeah. Or what are you planning to do?

SPEAKER_04 14:42

Oh, we're taking the bus.

SPEAKER_02 14:44

100%.

SPEAKER_04 14:44

100%. I guess my point being like when he doesn't have a choice, obviously, if we get to a point where the bus is unsafe for him, like we'll back off. But like if he is scared to get on the bus, like you're gonna face those fears. Yeah, you're getting on the bus. I also think something that will be exciting for him, both going to kindergarten and riding the bus, is that he gets to do something without his sister. And like it's something like his own thing because they go to the same school, they're actually in the same preschool building. We go to drop off every day together, we go to pickup every day together, everything we do, and they're only 17 months apart. So he doesn't know life without her. Yeah, and so I think it'll be very cool to have like this independent thing where like he gets to ride the bus and he gets to go to kindergarten and he gets to do these things. We have had those conversations, like I said earlier, like when you're three, this is what you do, when you're four, this is what you do. So he recognizes his age and her age, and she recognizes her age, so they know that they're not gonna be together, they know when they will be back together. They actually have talked about that. Like when I'm in second grade, she's gonna be in kindergarten, and we've had those conversations, but it'll be his thing for a few years, which would be kind of cool.

SPEAKER_02 15:55

It's interesting because we have a different dynamic where ours have never been together because they're like two and a half years apart. If we had kept Teddy at the Montessori school for kindergarten, they would have been together for a year, and that was something we debated about and ultimately decided against. I think it would have been adorable and very convenient, but we ultimately decided against because we thought it would be harder for AJ if she had a year with Teddy and then he left because I imagine that she would have hung on to him a little and then him leaving, and she's like, Well, now what do I do? So we thought it would be easier for her to transition into that environment independently while Teddy transitioned into his environment independently.

SPEAKER_04 16:31

Yeah, and to that point, I think my daughter will also love.

SPEAKER_02 16:34

I was gonna say, how does she feel about it?

SPEAKER_04 16:36

I don't really know how she's feeling, like, I don't really know if she understands. Okay. She does talk about the fact that he's going to kindergarten next year, and she is what, like three and a half, and she has recently developed a whole crew of imaginary friends. Oh. And she has a couple friends that are in kindergarten and a couple friends that are in college. So I think she recognizes that like fr different friends are like in different places. Yeah. So I think I think she's gonna be fine with it.

SPEAKER_02 17:02

I feel like she's processing her feelings about it through those imaginary friends, which is so cute.

SPEAKER_04 17:07

Maybe, yeah. Girl squad. Yeah, Naron's in kindergarten. Skyla turned 10 this morning and she's in college. Oh, okay. Yeah. And she'll spell their names and like like Naren is one of them, right? And it'll be like S-R-Q-W A T Y. Pronounced Naren. Pronounced Naren. At least you know that those letters are better. I love that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:43

All right. So we talked a little about readiness in terms of like how we're talking about kindergarten with our oldest and our youngest, all of the kind of mental prep. Yeah. What are you doing for like practical skill prep? Because there are some things I think you need in kindergarten. And I'll tell you one that I'm a little worried about is the bathroom, independently in the bathroom.

SPEAKER_04 18:03

In what sense?

SPEAKER_02 18:05

Hopefully, my son doesn't mind me telling this story in 20 years when he's an adult. But like he can go to the bathroom independently, except for when he needs cleanup duty. Yeah. Right. And we've been talking to him about like, you're gonna need to do this yourself when you go to kindergarten. Your teacher's not gonna come in the bathroom with you. And we haven't like crossed that hurdle yet. Like you said, you have time. Yeah. But I think there are other skills like that where it's like, hey, you probably need to know how to do this before you get to kindergarten. Your teacher's not gonna help you zip up your jacket every day. Your teacher's not gonna help you tie your shoes, your teacher expects that you know your name, right? Right? Like kind of those practical skills. How are you thinking about that?

SPEAKER_04 18:34

Yeah, I mean, I haven't thought too much about it, honestly. Um I probably should get on that. At school, I know that my son does go to the bathroom by himself and his teachers don't come in, which was a problem in pre-K3, but like it's obviously not an issue anymore. Um, when he's at home, we still have to like help him. But I think that's more of a habitual thing of like once he goes to the bathroom, he calls us in. Yeah. Have you seen or tried and I've never done this, okay, but I've seen it a billion times pop up on my socials. Have you seen the orange and peanut butter trick? No. Okay, so this is what you need to do with your son. Okay. Take like a container that's like gonna be tight enough for two oranges. So whether common kinds of oranges, so you take two oranges and you put them side by side so they're stuck together.

SPEAKER_02 19:23

I know where this is going.

SPEAKER_04 19:24

It looks like a butt. Yeah. And you smear peanut butter all over it and you hand them a wipe.

SPEAKER_02 19:28

I think that's a great idea. We're gonna try it.

SPEAKER_04 19:32

Just hand them a wipe and then like figure it out.

SPEAKER_02 19:35

Okay, I love that. Yeah. I think then if you can learn that skill, then it's a matter of just like, okay, well, that's behind you now. And just literally. Literally, that's what I mean. Like, do that same thing just behind you.

SPEAKER_04 19:45

Not like that's behind you is a skeleton.

SPEAKER_03 19:48

No, no, it's literally behind you.

SPEAKER_04 19:51

Well, we always do down dog. So I don't know if they like go into the bathroom at school and like down dog themselves. Like, how would you do that yourself? How would you not?

SPEAKER_02 20:00

Like, are they reaching up between their legs or like around the back?

SPEAKER_04 20:04

Well, for my daughter, we've always taught you have to go backwards. Yeah. Because girls have to go backwards. Yes. But for boys, they can do whatever the hell they want, whatever, whatever their flexibility allows them to do. All right, Jenny, we're doing a yoga class with some oranges and some sunbutter. Wait, speaking of yoga, yes. Oh my god, that's all my kids want to do right now. That's so cool. Tonight, after dinner, my kids did Rapunzel yoga, they did K-pop demon hunters yoga, they did Elsa yoga, and then they did Cosmic Kids. Are you finding this on like YouTube?

SPEAKER_02 20:36

We can just start doing that.

SPEAKER_04 20:37

It's hilarious, it's so cute. And they actually do the poses, they're very good at it. Last night, uh, my daughter and I did Zootopia yoga together.

SPEAKER_02 20:43

Oh, yeah. So you're saying they need to join us at Hot Yoga on Wednesday mornings, but they would love it.

SPEAKER_04 20:48

But as far as skills, my son will be able to do yoga in kindergarten. So that's the most important skill. That's a skill that we're working on. But as far as like other things, like he knows his name, he knows his address. Can he put his shoes on? His jacket. He can put his yeah, he put his yeah, he can put all this stuff on.

SPEAKER_02 21:04

Does he have velcro shoes or tie shoes?

SPEAKER_04 21:06

Velcro shoes.

SPEAKER_02 21:07

I saw something recently because I was like, I don't care about tying shoes, they just have velcro shoes, but I saw something that was like around this age, shoes kind of stopped being Velcro, and I was like, oh what you're talking about. I can always get Velcro shoes. Yeah, you can always get Velcro shoes.

SPEAKER_04 21:20

But like I think you're I think that is correct. It's kind of around this time.

SPEAKER_02 21:30

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_04 21:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:32

I don't think Teddy's there yet, but yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:34

I think he probably is. Maybe Teddy's foot's always been at least a size and a half bigger than my son's. Yeah, maybe he just needs your shoes. I don't know, but I but I'm always looking at like new balance and like a good sneaker. Yeah. And once they jump from T to K, like toddler to kid, I think the kid's shoes are more ties. But I'm not I'm not focusing on tying your shoes. I think that's a that's a skill he'll pick up as soon as we keep it.

SPEAKER_02 22:00

True. I saw something that made me laugh that was if you want your kid to be popular in kindergarten, teach them to tie their shoes and tie everyone else's shoes. It's because then the teacher will be like, Oh, you need your shoes ties, go see Teddy. He knows how to tie shoes.

SPEAKER_04 22:11

That's hilarious. There you go. I'm not pushing popularity on my children via shoe tie for any reason. I don't know that there's really I'm trying to think of other skills that I mean he pushes in his chair, he he empties his school bag every day. That's a responsibility. One of the things that we have like done very hard on. So I think you do chores in your house already. A little bit.

SPEAKER_02 22:35

It kind of goes in waves.

SPEAKER_04 22:36

We've we've don't do chores, but we have responsibilities. And it does go in waves. One of their main responsibilities every day after doing it is they have to empty their school bag. And that includes like putting their lunch boxes in the dishwasher and all that. Knows how to open his lunchbox, put it in the dishwasher, all of that. So he's fairly like responsible. And that's what we call them like your responsibilities. Like you take your milk cup and put it back in the fridge. Yeah. And things like that. We work on pushing his chair in after he's done eating.

SPEAKER_02 23:06

What about like cleaning up around the house? And that's another one I think I see fairly often is like when you're done with something, putting it all back away.

SPEAKER_04 23:12

That's one that is tricky because we do have a three-year-old in the house and they are so close in age, and she's not super understanding of cleaning up yet. I mean, they both are, they both clean up at school. I think the issue that we run into is a timing thing. So we will let them play until a certain time. And then it's like rush, rush, rush. Oh, yeah. Get jammies on, get diapers on, get to bed. Yeah. And within that time, I think my husband gets restless and wants to just help clean up. Yes. Or like just do the cleanup. I'll put the pajamas on and he'll clean up. Rather than being like, we're gonna stop five minutes early. And I try to push that every once in a while, but like I get caught up in the clock too. Like I get.

SPEAKER_03 24:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 24:01

And we're not a timer household.

SPEAKER_03 24:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 24:03

So when I say 10 minutes till jammy is like 15 minutes could go by. Right. Nobody knows the difference. Right. Including myself. Yeah. And now I've lost that five minute buffer for cleanup. I think it goes back to my comments earlier about he's not five yet. Yeah. You know, I do have a three-year-old who's running around. So it's a balancing act. I I want them to be cleaning up their toys more than they are, but they're not bad at it. If we ask them to clean up their toys and we're very specific, they're okay. They do it.

SPEAKER_02 24:38

They physically know how to do it. That's what I was gonna say. It's not that they can't do it. So, like when your teacher asks you, hey, clean up your stuff, they're gonna go, okay, and do it. It's just not a practice in your household on a regular basis. Yeah, what about you guys? Oh, we're crazy about cleaning up. I'm crazy about cleaning up. So our routine is that after dinner, they get to watch like 10 minutes each of TV. So like AJ will pick something and Teddy will pick something, and then we go for bed.

SPEAKER_04 24:59

20 minutes collectively.

SPEAKER_02 25:00

20 minutes collectively. But before the TV goes on, they know between dinner and TV it's cleanup. So we clear the table, I do the dishes, and they have to like tidy up all their stuff. Now they don't do that 100% independently, right? If Teddy's got something all strewn about, he'll say, Can you help me? And I'll say yes. And as long as they're participating, I don't care if I do 90% of the cleanup. If they do 10% and are actively participating in it, success.

SPEAKER_04 25:23

I fully agree with that. And I think that's where I struggle is if they ask for help, I will absolutely help. Yeah. But I feel like I need the communication and I need them, I need to see the effort.

SPEAKER_02 25:34

Yes, that's how I feel too. If you're as long as you're sitting here with me and helping, I will help you. But if you're like dawdling and off doing something else and you've left me to clean up, um, no. So we do clean up in our house pretty much every night, but that is mostly due to my anxiety around being in a house that's cluttered at the end of the night. Like I love, I love coming downstairs after bedtime to a neat house. I don't want to have to do the post-bedtime tidy up. It happens, don't get me wrong. Oh, yeah, obviously. But I love when we can take 10 minutes between dinner and TV to do the dishes, load the dishwasher, tidy up other stuff, and then settle on the couch and be like, okay, we're settled. And now we can enjoy our TV time and go up for bedtime and not be rushing. So I've got one more skill I want to talk about, which is communication with other adults. So if your child's teacher says, What's your name? What's your birthday? Are your kids comfortable interacting with other adults and answering questions like that?

SPEAKER_04 26:29

I honestly think 100%. That's great. Yeah, I think that my son, if you asked me this question four or five months ago, I might have been hesitant to say yes. But just in the last five months, I've watched him like flourish and like open up and and grow so much in that communication area that I do think he he would. Now, uh what we've uh uh instilled in him is the idea of like making sure that you are communicating. So he might not want to share that information, but he will communicate. I don't want to talk right now.

SPEAKER_01 27:05

Oh, fair.

SPEAKER_04 27:06

I think that could be something where he needs to learn respect, but I also think that respect is due back to him in the sense of like if you ask him a question and he respectfully tells you he's not open to communicating at the moment, I think that's I think that's fair. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. What about Teddy?

SPEAKER_02 27:23

He is more than capable of communicating. He is relatively shy, though. I think in an environment with a lot of new kids and a new teacher, he may be a little bit of a wallflower and kind of waiting, scoping things out. And once he comes out of his shell, he'll be amazing. He's more than capable of communicating whatever he wants, needs, whatever he's asked. But I think he will be a little bit of a I can see that a shy kid at first. Yeah. But I'm not worried about it. I'll put it that way. Yeah. I don't think there's anything that I'm worried about as it relates to Teddy and kindergarten and his readiness for that experience. If anything, I'm excited. I'm excited for him to learn new things, meet new friends. I'm excited to not have a childcare bill for him anymore. I'm excited for the adventures that he will have and the growth that he will have and all the things that he will learn. And I also want to bring it back to the point that you made at the top that was like, we don't need to rush this. Part of going to kindergarten is to learn these things, right? Like you don't have to have it all figured out on day one of kindergarten. Your teacher will help you. You'll learn from your friends and your peers. So I hope that's not what people take away from this episode is like, you have to do all these a hundred things before kindergarten.

SPEAKER_04 28:29

I usually give my kid don't have the top on a green stick.

SPEAKER_02 28:32

Right.

SPEAKER_04 28:32

Like he'll figure that out. Yeah. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 28:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:37

He'll learn. They'll they'll figure it out.

SPEAKER_03 28:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:40

And if they don't, we'll work on it.

SPEAKER_03 28:41

And I want him to be a kindergartner. I don't want him to be a first grader in kindergarten.

SPEAKER_02 28:48

A thousand percent. All right. So in lieu of the lightning round, we're gonna do something round? I know, we're gonna do something a little different. So we're gonna instead talk about skills that we are aware would be valuable to have in kindergarten. And you're gonna say, we're both gonna do this. Whether your kid has it or will need to learn it. Has it or learn it?

SPEAKER_03 29:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 29:14

Okay, ready?

SPEAKER_03 29:15

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 29:16

Do they know their full name first and last?

SPEAKER_03 29:18

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 29:19

Has it? Can they tie their shoes with actual laces?

SPEAKER_04 29:23

Does not have it.

SPEAKER_02 29:24

Needs to learn it. Can they go to the bathroom completely independently?

SPEAKER_04 29:28

Has it?

SPEAKER_02 29:28

Mine's gonna need to work on it. We're gonna get some oranges and sun butter over here. Can your kid close a marker cap all the way?

SPEAKER_04 29:35

Has it?

SPEAKER_02 29:36

Has it? Can they put their jacket on and zip it?

SPEAKER_00 29:39

Has it?

SPEAKER_02 29:39

Has it? Are you able to sort things into groups? Like if you've got markers and crayons and pencils, could you put them away appropriately?

SPEAKER_04 29:47

Has it?

SPEAKER_02 29:47

Has it? Do they know their address?

SPEAKER_04 29:50

Has it? I think Teddy knows this. I'm 100% certain that my kid knows it. My both of my kids know the address to our house.

SPEAKER_02 29:59

I might need to quiz them tomorrow. And lastly, do they know their birthday?

SPEAKER_04 30:03

Has it?

SPEAKER_02 30:03

Has it? My two-year-old knows her birthday. She's like, my birthday's in August.

SPEAKER_04 30:07

I know all four of our birthdays. Love that.

SPEAKER_02 30:10

Alright, so they're ready.

SPEAKER_04 30:11

They're ready.

SPEAKER_02 30:12

They're ready.

SPEAKER_04 30:12

We can go to college. Kindergarten. I think we just just stopped paying for child care and just start paying for college. Just skip right to that.

SPEAKER_02 30:20

Oh my god, my bank account just cried.

SPEAKER_04 30:22

All right, take us to the socials. So we are mom's offscript on TikTok and Instagram. You can also check out our YouTube channel. We have YouTube Shorts. And all of these episodes you can watch on YouTube.

SPEAKER_02 30:35

So check us out there. If you uh want to send us an email, you can reach out to us at momsoffscript at gmail.com. And we would really love to hear from parents who have already gone through the kindergarten transition. Nice. What was it like? What advice would you have for us? We've got time.

SPEAKER_03 30:49

Share your wisdom.

SPEAKER_02 30:50

I don't I don't want to say we're always imparting wisdom because we don't know everything either, but this is a very specific like please help us. So we would love to hear your advice. Yeah, what's the last time I tied my shoes?

SPEAKER_04 31:04

I did mine this way.

SPEAKER_02 31:05

No, I leave mine tied all the time and just slip around.

SPEAKER_04 31:08

I do actually have to have it running shoes.

SPEAKER_02 31:10

There you go.

SPEAKER_04 31:10

But wipe my bottom. I don't know if I can.

SPEAKER_02 31:13

So could be it could go either way. Question of all. Who knows what's going on down there? On that note, thank you all for tuning in. Well, we'll see you next week on Monday. Thanks, guys. Bye.

SPEAKER_01 31:27

It's created.